


Here Comes the...Bride?

by ZoneRobotnik



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Other, all gideon wanted was the family secrets he didn't expect this, dipper is convieniently there, mabel is stubborn, magically-genderbent!dipper, oh no he's cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11895210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoneRobotnik/pseuds/ZoneRobotnik
Summary: After being rejected once again by Mabel, even with her brother captive as bait, Gideon decides to make use of his captive and changes him into a girl to marry into the Pines family.





	1. Bait

**Author's Note:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

Gideon Gleeful waited in the forest, watching for his prey to enter it once again. No one knew these forests better than him, even if his target seemed to think they did. He was wearing green today, to better blend in with the area, and had a hooded coat to conceal his brightly-colored blond hair. He checked his watch and nodded to the others hidden around the area disguised as monsters. Their target would be entering soon.  
  
There he was; Dipper Pines, self-proclaimed expert of the supernatural. Oh, if this boy knew the kind of things Gideon knew...he was really just a boy, compared to the knowledge that Gideon possessed.  
  
Dipper was 18 now and Gideon 16, but you wouldn't know it by looking at them – heck, you'd think it the other way around. Dipper was quite short for his age and Gideon had inherited his father's towering height.  
  
Gideon nodded to one of the others hidden and the man, disguised as a giant boar, left his hiding place and lunged after the teen. Gideon followed discreetly, watching to see how he would handle this.  
  
Six years ago, Dipper and his twin sister Mabel had exposed Gideon as a “fraud” and Gideon had been put in jail for “breaking the hearts of the people”. He'd been let out on good behavior three years later, but that didn't mean bygones would be bygones. He'd spent the past three years scheming and paying for the people he'd befriended in there to be released.  
  
His nice attempts to get Mabel to marry him had all been rejected, so he would have to use force. He knew that the Pines' girl was destined to be his Queen. Plus, if he was married to a Pines than he would have access to the Mystery Shack and finally be able to search for the last Journal and ultimate power. But, as in all fairy tales, there was an obstacle to beat. That obstacle was her unwillingness to marry him, and her brother's snarky comments about Gideon. Despite what they may claim, Gideon KNEW Dipper must've said something to change her mind about him six years ago.  
  
But, he couldn't let his anger control his actions. No, Dipper was an easy obstacle to get by. If he wanted to, he could have him run off a cliff right now. But, the objective was not to _kill_ him. He needed him alive. At least for now.  
  
He caught up to where Dipper was cornered and just as Dipper had pulled out a knife – brave, boy, very brave. But stupid in an actual battle against a giant boar – he opened a book he had been carrying and muttered an incantation, his eyes locked on Dipper. Dipper realized he was suddenly glowing, panicked, and tried to find a place to run before he started to feel the effects of the spell take hold. As soon as he hit the ground, Gideon walked over to where he was starting to lose consciousness.  
  
“G-Gi...deon...?” Dipper murmured, trying to fight the magic-induced sleep.  
  
“Good work, everyone. Let's get him to the car.” Gideon said, pulling his hood down and kneeling next to Dipper. “Your sister will do anything to keep you safe.” He murmured. “No hard feelings?” He grinned impishly and patted Dipper's cheek before standing up as another guy picked the unconscious teen up.  
  
–  
  
Dipper woke up to find himself in a dark room. Confused, he looked to the left and to the right, but only saw a tiny window that barely let light in and otherwise nothing. He started to get up, but found he was chained to the bed he was laying on and gasped. “Gideon.” He whispered, remembering what had happened before he passed out.  
  
“Gideon!” He called, rattling his chains as he struggled. “What's going on here?! Let me go!”  
  
“Li'l Gideon's on the phone, be quiet.” A voice said from beyond the door that was somewhere in the darkness.  
  
“Let me go!” Dipper repeated. “I'll scream! I can scream really loud! Whoever is on the phone will hear me!”  
  
The door opened a bit. “Good, then she might actually believe I have you like I've been sayin'.” Gideon said, standing in the light of the doorway. “Why don't you say somethin' to your sister, hm?”  
  
“Dipper?!” Mabel was apparently on speaker. “Dipper, are you really there?!”  
  
“Yeah! Gideon's got me chained up in some dark room!” Dipper struggled with his chains again.  
  
“Just wait, I'll come and beat him up and save you!” Mabel declared. “Where are you keeping him, Gideon?!”  
  
Gideon sighed. “Do ya really think that I'm just going to _tell_ you? The only way to save him is to go along with my demands. Otherwise, he's not gettin' loose.” Gideon leaned against the doorway a bit.  
  
“What demands?” Mabel asked.  
  
“Marry me and be my future queen.” Gideon rolled his eyes. “The same thing I've been wantin' for years, Mabel-darlin'.”  
  
“What?! No, Mabel, don't do it!” Dipper said. Gideon narrowed his eyes at him and did a hand-gun motion, a light coming out of his finger. Dipper found nothing came out when he tried to speak and looked at Gideon in horror.  
  
“Silence in the peanut gallery.” Gideon shook his head. “So, Mabel, what will it be?” He walked out of the room and the door closed, leaving Dipper in silence.  
  
–  
  
“If you really think that I'm going to marry you, you've got a REALLY active imagination!” Mabel said with a huff.  
  
“If you think that I'm going to release your brother any other way, then so do you. And don't even try to trace this number, sweetheart. The moment you try, it hangs up and I'll have to call ya again.” Gideon sat down in an armchair in front of a fireplace, sighing.  
  
“Why me? Why not some other girl?!” Mabel asked.  
  
“It used to be about love.” Gideon glanced at the fire. “But, now it's just a matter of pride. I'd never been told 'no' before until you came along.”  
  
“That's twisted and selfish!” Mabel declared.  
  
“Mmhm. And it was twisted and selfish of you two to put me in prison for three years. You foiled all my attempts to get out, I finally had to act like I'd changed as a person before they would let me out. Luckily,” he chuckled. “I'm a brilliant actor.”  
  
“Can't you just get over it?!” Mabel asked. “Let my brother go!”  
  
“My answer is no. And if you don't give in to my demands by sundown, you won't see your brother again!” He hung up and dropped his cell phone on the little table next to him. “Mm...I miss landlines. Cell phones just don't have that dramatic bang when you hang up.”  
  
“Are you going to kill him?” One of his men asked.  
  
“No.” Gideon sighed. “If Mabel refuses me, well, I still need to be able to get into the Pines family. I'll think of something.” He stood up and walked out of the room, walking down the hall. He paused by Dipper's cell and opened the little window in the door. Dipper was curled up as best he could in a ball on the bed, his body shaking. He frowned and closed the window again, walking on  
  
“She has until sundown.” He reminded himself. “If she doesn't call and say 'I do' by then...” He opened a double-doored room and walked in, looking around at the tomes neatly shelved. “How can I enter the Pines family if she doesn't?” He crossed the room to one of the tomes and pulled it out, skimming through the pages. “Hypnotism? No, too easy to break. Possession? Yeugh, no. I tried that already, it was a mess. Shape-shifting? Bah, they'd figure it out if I acted differently.” He paused on a page and looked at it curiously. “...I wonder...”  
  
“Monsieur Gideon, your lunch is ready.” A man spoke up, standing in the doorway. “Should we feed the other one?”  
  
Gideon paused. “...Bring my food to his cell. I'm going to have a talk with him.” He set the tome down and walked past the man, closing the doors behind him.  
  
–  
  
Dipper glanced up as the door opened and his captor entered the room. Gideon snapped his fingers and torches around the room lit up, making it not so dark anymore. Confused, Dipper started to ask why but then remembered he had no voice. The best he could do was stare at him blankly.  
  
“I'm here to talk.” Gideon said as a butler brought in a chair and set it down next to the bed. “And I figured you might be hungry.”  
  
Dipper glanced at the food and started to ask why again, but then remembered that no sound would come out. By “talk” did he mean that Gideon would talk and he would listen?  
  
“Your sister has until sundown to agree to my demands.” Gideon started, taking one of the two plates and cutting the food into pieces with a knife and fork. “And then, I have to decide what to do with you.” Dipper looked at the food fearfully. “Oh, don't worry. It's not poisoned.” Gideon chuckled. “I need you alive.” He forked a piece of meat and brought it to Dipper's lips. “Open.”  
  
Dipper kept his lips pursed not trusting that it wouldn't be poisoned. Gideon rolled his eyes and bit off a tiny piece before offering it again. “Open.” He repeated. This time, Dipper slowly complied. “Good.” Gideon nodded, moving the fork back to the plate. “I have been considering my options. I need to get into the Pines' family secrets. However, if Mabel will not marry me, then I need some other way in. My attempts so far have all been intercepted and foiled by you and your sister, and I'm running out of options.”  
  
Dipper started to speak, but nothing came out again and he huffed. Gideon chuckled and continued to speak. “This must be very frustratin' for ya, hm? Losing yer freedom of speech? Or freedom in general?” He forked another piece aggressively. “Try livin' like this for _three years_ , without the added benefit of being magically silenced so you don't screw up and piss off a guard!”  
  
“Gideon, your temper.” The guard helpfully spoke up.  
  
“Thank you, Ghost-eyes.” Gideon took a deep breath and released it. “Now, I highly doubt you would help me get into the Mystery Shack without somethin' in it for you. And, honestly, I doubt you'd let me get whatever it is I'm tryin' to get. And if you just let me in, they might suspect somethin' is up. However, there are...certain ways I could handle this.” He offered the fork to Dipper. “Of course, this conversation is moot if your sister gives in.”  
  
'She won't.' Dipper thought as he opened his mouth for the food and clamped his lips down on the fork. 'She's probably trying to figure out where I'm being kept right now. Where is this place, anyway?'  
  
Gideon pulled the fork free and used another fork to feed himself from the other plate. He glanced at his watch and then looked at Dipper. “I've said all I was going to. I'll tell you more if she refuses.” He said with an impish smile.  
  
Dipper sighed and shifted his wrists in his chains. Man, his wrists hurt...

 


	2. Replacement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mabel turns down Gideon's latest proposal and he decides he's done with her. But where does that leave Dipper?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

Gideon left him alone after lunch, leaving Dipper to his thoughts. He looked around the torch-lit room and found that it was as barren as a prison cell. But, surely Gideon wasn't chained down the whole time? Why did he insist on the chains? He struggled in his chains again and then gasped in pain when he felt a twinge of pain. Better stop struggling, he was rubbing his skin raw.  
  
He looked at the tiny window and wondered what time it was. After getting his watch caught on everything, Dipper had resorted to using a cell-phone to tell time but Gideon of course had taken that away. He sighed heavily and lay back on the bed, wishing he could reach his shirt to chew it.  
  
He heard the door open and looked over. Gideon was standing in the doorway, his phone tightly gripped in his hand. “She. Said. No. She even told me to _go to hell_.” Gideon said, his voice trembling with anger.  
  
Dipper frowned. While that did sound like something Mabel would say, did she really just...leave him to his fate? She was probably trying to find him right now. Where was he, anyway? Gideon came to his side and Dipper flinched when he pulled something sharp from his pocket. Oh, wait, it was just a key.  
  
“ To think that I've been nothin' but kind to her, all these years. All in hopes that she'd come around. But, she's losing her sweet nature. To think that she would say somethin' like that...” He looked at Dipper. “But...I won't let that stop my plans. You can either go along with them nice and peaceful-like, or I'll knock you out with magic again.” He unlocked the handcuffs, releasing Dipper's wrists finally.  
  
Dipper quickly sat up. While he _could_ try punching Gideon and running, those guards looked like they could pulverize him. Better to go along with things. Maybe he'd get a chance to run?  
  
“ A wise choice. You just might get your voice back, Dipper.” Gideon smirked a bit and led him out of the cell. He glanced at Dipper rubbing his wrists and sighed. “Handcuffs ain't fun, are they? They'll heal, don't worry. They won't scar. I have some ointment to help, if you need it.” Gideon led him to a double-doored room and opened it. “Sit.” He pointed to a chair. “I need to prepare things.”  
  
Dipper walked over and sat in the chair, glancing at the guard that had followed them from his cell. No chance of escaping that way, it seemed.  
  
Gideon set up candles and a magic circle on the floor, muttering to himself as he worked. Dipper squirmed in his chair, wondering what he was planning. He'd LOVE to ask, imagine all he could learn, but he still had no voice. Finally, Gideon finished setting up the circle and beckoned Dipper to him. “Come here, Pines.  
  
Dipper climbed off the chair and walked over, ever wary of the guard. Gideon pointed to the center of the circle. Dipper stood there and Gideon chuckled a bit. “I'd advise laying down, Pines. Or else you'll fall.”  
  
Dipper looked at him with a confused expression and lay down on the circle. What, exactly, was Gideon going to do? “It might hurt.” Gideon warned him as he lit the candles. “I've never used it before, so I have to make sure everything is perfect.”  
  
Used what? What was Gideon going to do?! He squirmed nervously and looked up at Gideon, pleading with him silently not to turn him into a hamster or something else.  
  
“Remain still, please. I do not want to mess up.” Gideon said, then picked up a book and started chanting in a language Dipper didn't know. Latin? Maybe it was Latin? No, he sort of recognized Latin. What was it? He didn't have long to wonder, though, because he gasped as a sharp pain shot through his body. He wanted to scream, to cry out, but he guessed that was why Gideon hadn't returned his voice yet. Instead he let out silent screams of pain as he felt his body shift and change. He closed his eyes, tears of pain slipping from them, and continued to silently scream until he passed out.  
  
And then he was being gently shaken awake. “Pines? Are you alive?” Gideon asked. “Don't tell me I did it wrong...”  
  
“Hhhh...” Dipper let out a labored breath and slowly opened his eyes. He didn't...feel any...wait, hold on. Something was definitely different. He looked down at his chest and let out another silent scream before sitting up and screaming again.  
  
“Well, you seem okay.” Gideon commented.  
  
Dipper looked up at Gideon. 'OKAY?! THIS is your definition of okay?! What did you do me?!' He thought, gesturing at his larger chest. Then he brought his hands down to his lap and screamed again.  
  
“Stop screaming, I'm about to give you your voice back.” Gideon rolled his eyes. “The spell was a success.”  
  
Dipper stood up and grabbed his shoulders. 'What. Did. You. DO?!' He thought, hoping Gideon could somehow read his mind.  
  
Gideon raised an eyebrow at him and moved Dipper's hands off his shoulders. “As I cannot marry your sister, I decided to make myself another bride in the Pines family.” He explained calmly. “It's nothing personal, just business.”  
  
Dipper let out another silent scream and tried to punch Gideon, but his hand was caught by the younger male's. “Look, Dipper, I have big plans. And seeing as you are constantly in my way, I'm makin' you a part of them. And since I am not interested in men in that way, I have changed you into a girl. It's better than you dying, isn't it?” Gideon tried to reason with him.  
  
Dipper tried to speak, failed, and tried again. Gideon sighed and pointed his finger at Dipper's neck. “There. Now you may speak.”  
  
“ _Why_?!” Dipper cried. “Why did it have to be Mabel? Why not someone else?!”  
  
“ Because no one else is in the Pines family.” Gideon told him. “No one else has access to the Journals.”  
  
Dipper blinked in surprise. “The...Journals?”  
  
“Yeah. Why else would I have anything to do with your family, after being rejected so badly? Though, I do also have my pride.” Gideon shrugged. “Anyways, you're going to marry me and add me to your family, giving me access to your family's secrets.”  
  
“What secrets?” Dipper frowned.  
  
“Let me put it this way. The Stanford Pines my father knew when he was younger had six fingers.” Gideon turned to the door. “I'll show you to your room.”  
  
“...Wait...huh?” Dipper stared blankly. “Hold on...are you suggesting that...what ARE you suggesting?” He followed him out. “And you want to marry me, but what about what comes after?! A-Are you gonna...what if I don't want it?!”  
  
Gideon sighed. “Dipper, I can assure you with complete certainty that I will not have non-consensual sex with you.” He said, turning to face him. “What kind of monster do you think I am?”  
  
“Uh...so...you won't be...doing anything?” Dipper asked.  
  
“We will share a bed, but that is it.” Gideon replied. “Now, shall we go to your room?  
  
“Right...” Dipper nodded. “Uh...where are we, anyway?”  
  
“Not Gravity Falls.” Gideon smirked a bit. “I've purchased a few extra homes with the money I still have from my work, and I've also been doing some underground work to get more.”  
  
“Underground work?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Mmhm. Magic really comes in handy for those kinds of things.” Gideon led him down a hallway.  
  
“What kinds of things? Are you a criminal?” Dipper asked.  
  
Gideon looked at him blankly. “Says the one who _put me in jail_?"  
  
“...Oh, yeah.” Dipper cringed.  
  
“ But, yes, I have been doing other crimes. Nothing too big.” Gideon stopped at a door and opened it. “This is your room. Clothes are inside and, before you ask, they are all female clothes. This was intended to be Mabel's room, after all.” He turned to go. “We'll return to Gravity Falls after the wedding, and the ceremony will be in one of my other homes.”  
  
“Wait, hold on! You think my family will just...ACCEPT this?!” Dipper turned to him.  
  
“They'll have to. The marriage is binding.” Gideon shrugged.  
  
“It can be annulled, if we don't...do anything.” Dipper said nervously. Why was he giving Gideon ideas?  
  
“I highly doubt you will want to.” Gideon shook his head. “Not when you see my vast collection of information on the supernatural world.” He walked on. “I'll come get you for dinner. Please do not leave your room and get lost.”  
  
Dipper started to speak, but then changed his mind and entered the bedroom. “...Okay...so it's not...too...bad, I guess. About what you'd expect for a room decorated for Mabel.” He walked over and sat on the curtained bed, looking around the pink, glittery room with a starry-sky wallpaper. “...I wonder what his room looks like? I guess I'll find out, once we're...married.” He looked at the window and got up to look out it. They were on a cliff, overlooking a vast ocean view. He spotted a dolphin going in and out of the water and reached for the latch of the window to open it.  
  
The wind smelled like salt water and blew through his hair in a non-aggressive way. He looked to the left and right, but couldn't really see what the building might look like from the outside. There was no footholds to climb down, and no convenient pipes or vines. Gideon had made sure that his future bride wouldn't be able to escape. But what about on the way to the next location?  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a polite knock on the door and he quickly closed the window and turned to see Gideon opening the door. “Uh...hi. What?”  
  
“It's time for dinner.” Gideon said, looking around the room a bit. Probably to see what Dipper had already messed with. “Let's go eat.”  
  
Dipper nodded. “Okay.” He left the window to join him in the hallway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Mabel will never see her *brother* again.


	3. Blood!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Dipper adjusts to being a girl, his body is ALSO adjusting to being a girl....with a surprise from Mother Nature herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

“You know, darlin,', it occurs to me that I don't know yer real name.” Gideon said as he pulled Dipper's chair out for him—her. He was a she now, wasn't he? “Care to share it?”  
  
“Well, I'm gonna have to get it changed now, aren't I?” Dipper huffed a bit, sitting down in the chair. “...It's Mason. Mason Alexander Pines.”  
  
“Mine's Gideon Charles Gleeful. It just occurred to me that we never formally introduced ourselves before.” He walked over and took his own seat. “And, you're right. We'll have to change your name a bit. Hm...Alexander can be easily changed to Alexandra...as for Mason...that's a bit harder. I'll do some research I'm sure there's feminine versions.” He looked over as the chef brought in their food.  
  
“So, uh...this...criminal stuff you've been doing...what is it, exactly?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Already gettin' curious about my personal life?” Gideon smirked a bit. “Mostly infiltration, mind-control, mind-readin', capturin' creatures that shouldn't be on the loose. Nothing TOO criminal.”  
  
“Oh. I was thinking, y'know, that you might've been doing more...criminal stuff. Like kidnappings.” Dipper admitted.  
  
“No, I'm afraid I'm not going to fit into yer average cartoon villain stereotype. And I turned down any kidnapping jobs.” He picked up his fork and knife as his plate was filled. “They were after the Northwest fortune, after all.”  
  
“Whoa, that would've been big money. Why would you turn it down?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Because they're my family. I don't know if you bothered to check or not, but Pacifica Northwest and I are cousins. Her father is my mother's older brother.” Gideon said, cutting into his meat as the chef went to bring Dipper his food.  
  
“Oh...no, I didn't know. Sorry.” Dipper cringed.  
  
“Eh.” Gideon shrugged. “You are right, though. Anyone would be a fool to turn down a job that earns them big money, but I told them in no uncertain terms after the tenth offer that the Northwests were personal friends o' mine and if I find anyone has kidnapped the daughter I will track down the kidnapper and kill them. And also to make sure everyone else knew. If they want her, they have to be able to beat me.” He took a bite of his meat, smiling with satisfaction as the unspoken words hung in the air between them: No one has managed to beat him in years.  
  
“Kill them? So you _would_ do murder?” Dipper asked.  
  
“I tried to murder you when I was nine years old.” Gideon reminded him. “Of course I could kill someone fer touchin' my cousin.”  
  
Dipper swallowed nervously. “...And if...someone came to save me?”  
  
Gideon shook his head. “No one's comin', darlin'. My phone can't be traced. As soon as someone starts to, it's programmed to shut off. And I put yours somewhere else, turned off.” He gestured to Dipper's plate. “You should eat.”  
  
“...I'm not really hungry.” Dipper said, looking at the food.  
  
“If ya don't eat, ye'll regret it.” Gideon said, taking another bite of his food. After chewing and swallowing, he set down his fork. “Must I spoon-feed you again? You have working hands.”  
  
“I'm sorry, I'm just really not feeling like putting food in my stomach when I'm feeling queasy.” He held his stomach. “Urgh...”  
  
Gideon frowned and tilted his head a bit to look around the table at him. “Do you feel any pain?”  
  
“Kinda'. Why? Is it a side-effect of the spell?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Let's get ya to the bathroom.” Gideon got up and went to Dipper's chair, pulling it out. “Come on, lean on me.”  
  
“I don't feel like throwing up yet...I just feel queasy...” Dipper said, getting up  
  
“Just come with me and don't look down.” He passed by a maid and smiled apologetically. “She's going to need some new clothes. Would ya be a doll?”  
  
She nodded and headed off.  
  
“Don't look down? Why am I not looking—OH MY GOD, I'M BLEEDING!” Dipper said, looking at the floor. “WHY AM I BLEEDING?!”  
  
“Tell me something, around what time of the month does your sister go through her menstrual cycle?” Gideon asked.  
  
“WHY IS THAT RELEVANT?! WHY AM I BLEEDING?!” Dipper clung to Gideon, looking behind him. “I'M LEAVING A BLOOD-TRAIL!”  
  
Gideon sighed. “It's HIGHLY relevant. As her twin, you would probably run on the same cycle as her, from what little I know of this subject.”  
  
The maid came up with clothes. “I'll take her from here, sir.”  
  
“Thank you. I'll have someone start cleaning this up.” Gideon said, prying Dipper's fingers off his arm. “Well...better now than later on, I suppose. Hopefully she'll be done by the time we're finished preparin' for the wedding.” He walked back towards the dining room.  
  
“What's going on? Why am I bleeding?” Dipper asked, looking at the maid as she led him away.  
  
\--  
  
When Gideon next saw Dipper, he was considerably calmer and in different clothes. “She gave me some painkiller and said this will last up to a week. I think I sort of remember Mabel telling me about this, but I told her it was gross girl stuff. Something about expelling unfertilized eggs?”  
  
“That's about as much as I know.” Gideon shrugged. “Feel better?”  
  
“Yeah.” Dipper walked over and sat down in the chair next to Gideon, staring into the fire blankly. “...I'm really a girl now, huh? Why did my body take so long to start bleeding?”  
  
“That might be a side-effect o' the spell.” Gideon said simply. “Your body was confused for a short time, because ye were a boy and now, suddenly, ye're a girl. As I said, I have never used it before. I'm taking notes as we go along.”  
  
“Why would you ever use it again?” Dipper asked.  
  
“I may not need to, but it is good to be prepared.” Gideon shrugged.  
  
Dipper nodded. “...I think I'm feeling hungry now.”  
  
“I had the chef keep your plate warm fer you. Would you like to eat it here, in the dining hall, or in yer room?” Gideon asked.  
  
“Uh...here is good. I don't know if I could go into the dining hall again without remembering the blood-trail. Why was there so much?” Dipper cringed.  
  
“I can't really answer that. I'll hafta see if this happened with anyone else that used that spell, and if it's only the first time or if every time will—"  
  
“Look like a murder scene?” Dipper cut in.  
  
“\--be as bad as this one. I was tryin' ta avoid the implications you just bluntly stated, Pines.” Gideon raised an eyebrow and went to pull on a cord to summon the maid. When she arrived, he gestured to Dipper. “She's feelin' hungry now. Would you bring her the food the chef set aside for her?”  
  
The maid nodded and headed off.  
  
“So, uh...that was...fun. At least I know my body is...capable of having kids, now?” Dipper shrugged.  
  
Gideon nodded. “A fact to keep note of fer the future.”  
  
The maid came in with Dipper's food and he dug into it hungrily. Gideon looked at the fire thoughtfully and then glanced at his phone, which had been silent since the last call he had from Mabel. He picked it up and dialed a number, bringing it to his ear. “S'me. Yeah, we might hafta postpone the weddin' fer a week. She's not feelin' so good right now. Alrigh', then no rush on getting things ready. I'll let you know when she's feelin' better and check in on yer progress.” He paused a bit, listening. “No, it's...a different girl. I'll explain later, but the measurements seem ta be the same. Fits the other dresses jus' fine.” He glanced at Dipper, appraising how he looked in the dress meant for his sister. The bosom looked a bit tight, he'd have to measure it and send the new measurements over to the tailor. “Mm, maybe a few adjustments. I'll send them over after I figure those out. Alright, I'll call you again later. Until then.” He hung up, then set his phone down. “So, while you were gettin' cleaned up, I had someone pick up a naming book. Turns out that one of the feminine forms of Mason is Martha.”  
  
“I guess I could live with being a Martha.” Dipper sighed.  
  
“It is a lovely name.” Gideon said helpfully.  
  
Dipper nodded, setting down his fork once he finished eating. “So, uh...you mentioned a 'vast collection'?”  
  
Gideon smiled. “Would you like to see it? Although, I would like to do one thing first.”  
  
“What's that?” Dipper asked.  
  
“I need to measure you. I'm sure you feel horribly uncomfortable without a bra on, and your chest is bigger than your sister's so the dress might not fit.” Gideon explained.  
  
“How do you know what my sister's breast size is?” Dipper asked defensively.  
  
“I asked Pacifica.” Gideon stood up. “If it would make you more comfortable, I can have the maid measure you.”  
  
“Does Pacifica know about this?” Dipper asked. “Did she help you plan it?”  
  
“No. She thinks I'm making another courting gift for Mabel.” Gideon shook his head. “If she knew...she might try to stop me. Mabel is her friend.”  
  
“So am I.” Dipper grumbled. “She never mentioned your relation.”  
  
“And I don't blame her. You two hate me, you might be mad at her for having anything to do with me.” Gideon shrugged. “Come on, let's go to my room so I can measure you.”  
  
“Uh, can't we go to my room?” Dipper asked.  
  
“My sewing supplies are in my room.” Gideon said pointedly.  
  
“Sewing supplies?” Dipper asked.  
  
“How did you think I would measure you?” Gideon asked.  
  
“Uh...” Dipper brought his hands up to cup his own breasts and shrugged.  
  
“That is crude and horribly inaccurate.” Gideon rolled his eyes and went to the door. “Come along, Pines.”  
  
“Oh, okay.” Dipper dropped his hands and followed him out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, Dipper, don't grope yourself.


	4. Measuring Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a little bit of quality time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gravity Falls (c) Alex Hirsch and Disney XD

Dipper looked around in awe at Gideon's wooden craft projects while Gideon dug around for his tape measure. “You're actually really good at this stuff.” He commented.  
  
“I have a few hobbies.” Gideon said, pulling out the measure. “Please remove your shirt.”  
  
Dipper blushed. “Uhhhh...”  
  
“You may cover your breasts if you have to.” He turned around. “I'll give you privacy.”  
  
“N-No peeking.” Dipper turned around and pulled off his shirt. “You're not peeking, right?”  
  
“No, Pines, I am not.”  
  
Dipper nodded and then turned back to him, covering his breasts in a criss-cross fashion. “Okay...you can look now.”  
  
Gideon turned to him and sighed. “Oh, Dipper...” He walked over and grabbed his wrists, pulling them away, before putting the left hand over the left breast and the right hand over the right breast. “That's better.”  
  
“You could've warned me! Or just told me!” Dipper said, blushing furiously.  
  
“That would be a waste of time. Hold still.” Gideon knelt a bit and wrapped the measuring tape under Dipper's armpits. “Relax, and stand up straight. You're not relaxing.”  
  
“Hard to relax when you're being all touchy-feely.” Dipper glanced to the side.  
  
“I am not being perverted in any way. All of my touches are respectful and even professional. Please do as I ask and stop panicking like I'm going to _eat_ you.” Gideon said, his tone a bit impatient.  
  
“Okay, okay!” Dipper squeaked.  
  
“That's the opposite of what I want.” Gideon sighed and pulled the tape away before moving behind him. “Let's start with these knots. You're always so stressed out, you need to relax.” He started to gently rub at Dipper's shoulders.  
  
“Can you measure behind me? I can lower my arms and relax if you do that.” Dipper said nervously.  
  
“Yes, I can do that.” Gideon said, wrapping the measuring tape around him again. “Is your sister this jumpy, or just you?”  
  
“I've always been pretty jumpy.” Dipper admitted.  
  
“Well, try to relax.” Gideon chuckled a bit. “It's no wonder you get into trouble all the time.” He pulled the measuring tape away and walked back to his desk. “I'll order you a few bras. Do you want any camisoles as well?”  
  
“Any...what?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Wow, you really know nothing about girls, huh?” Gideon grinned at him.  
  
Dipper sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I guess I—DUAH!” He quickly grabbed his shirt and covered up. “Don't look!”  
  
“Relax, I was looking at your face.” Gideon went back to writing the measurements down.  
  
“Why do YOU know so much?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Because I studied fashion, all kinds of fashion. And I didn't grimace and make faces when Pacifica was talking to me about 'girl stuff'.” He set his pencil down and grabbed his phone, dialing a number. “You can head back to your room now, or you can sit on the couch and wait. Either way, we'll see my collection when I finish this call.”  
  
“I can wait.” Dipper pulled his shirt on and walked over to sit on the couch, staring into the fireplace. He heard Gideon speaking, but didn't really listen to what he was saying. It was just about the bras, anyway. He let his mind wander to what Gideon might have in his “vast collection”, wondering if it was really worth staying married to him.  
  
He was so lost in his wonderings that he didn't even notice when Gideon got off the phone and approached him. A light tap on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Gideon standing behind the couch. “Uh...yes?”  
  
“Did you want to take a nap or see my collection?” Gideon asked, looking amused.  
  
“Oh, yes!” Dipper hopped up then groaned in pain and clutched at his chest. “Owwwwwwwwww!”  
  
“And _that_ is why we just took your measurements.” Gideon headed for the door. “Coming, Pines?”  
  
“Coming!” Dipper said, walking after him while holding his chest. “Oh, geez, that hurt...”  
  
–  
  
“Here we are.” Gideon approached a door and then placed his hand on it, muttering something before the door glowed and opened. “It's closed and opened by magic. Once we're wed, I'll teach you the spell so you can activate it whenever you want.,” He smiled at Dipper and then led him inside.  
  
The room inside was much larger than Dipper expected. It had bookshelves and artifacts and was that a living, breathing dragon over there? He practically floated in, looking around in awe, then headed straight for the books. “What IS all this?”  
  
“These?” Gideon walked over to the bookshelf he was next to. “These particular ones are magic tomes. They contain all the magic of the world – and then some. Some of these have never before been touched or seen by human eyes. I have very good connections in both worlds.”  
  
“Wow...” Dipper went to another one. “And these?”  
  
“Those are history books. They contain all the history of every species I have encountered and befriended.” Gideon walked over to look at the books. “Most of them aren't in English, but I can lend you my translating stone.”  
  
“And what about these ones?” Dipper asked, going to another bookshelf.  
  
“Those? Don't open them, not unless you want to get sucked inside. Those are portals to pocket dimensions.” Gideon walked over and gently pushed Dipper's eager reaching hand down. “And they require a high-level spell to escape.”  
  
“Will you teach me that one?” Dipper asked.  
  
“Once you have learned enough magic to be able to handle it, yes. If someone with too low magical abilities uses it, it could backfire and you could be blasted to the Nightmare Realm.” Gideon shook his head.  
  
“The Nightmare Realm...?” Dipper frowned.  
  
“It's a dark and horrible place where monsters roam free and chaos reigns. Those who go there never return.” Gideon said grimly. “Or if they do, they aren't the same. They end up killing themselves from the nightmares that still plague them after they've escaped.”  
  
“Yikes!” Dipper stepped back from the books.  
  
“These pocket dimensions are generally pretty safe. Just don't ever go in without me.” Gideon gently took his arm and led him away from the bookshelf. “See anything else you want to ask about?”  
  
“Yeah. Why is there a dragon here?” Dipper asked.  
  
“The dragon is named Midna. She was badly wounded, and I nursed her back to health. But, I had to keep her in here because anywhere else the outside world would hear her roars and investigate.” Gideon sighed. “Unfortunately, it's not safe for her to go flying again. That's how she got hurt in the first place.”  
  
“Wow.” Dipper walked over to Midna. “Hello there!”  
  
“Dipper, no!” Gideon pulled him back a bit when a tail almost came down on him. “First of all, you have to be respectful to dragons! Secondly, she only puts up with me because I helped her. Please don't approach her unless she shows interest in you first.”  
  
“Whoa. Okay.” Dipper nodded. “Uh, what about those artifacts? Any of those gonna kill me?”  
  
“I think, to be safe, you should only come in here with me. I forgot that you were the 'push every button' type.” Gideon sighed heavily. “Come on, let's go back. I apologize for her behavior, Midna.”  
  
The dragon gave Dipper a suspicious glint before relaxing and going back to looking over a golden treasure.  
  
“Let's go.” Gideon led Dipper out.  
  
“How did you get her there?” Dipper asked.  
  
“By portal.” Gideon opened the door and led Dipper out, shutting the door behind them. It glowed and then wouldn't move when Dipper tried to open it. “Come on, let's take you to bed. It's been a long day and you need rest. There's nightgowns in your room.”  
  
“Right. Uhm...thanks...for showing me those.” Dipper said, glancing to the side. “I guess you're not...all bad. You could've let the dragon squish me.”  
  
“That wouldn't work with my plans, would it?” Gideon chuckled and then they stopped at Dipper's bedroom. “Here we are.” He opened the door and motioned for him to go in. “Good night.”  
  
“Yeah.” Dipper stepped in. “Uhm...can I get my phone back?”  
  
Gideon raised an eyebrow. “We'll talk about it tomorrow. Go to sleep.” He closed the door and walked off.  
  
Dipper sighed heavily and walked over to the bed, flopping down on top of it face-first. “...Ow. Breasts really suck.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dipper would've been bit by Buckbeak. No respect for the supernatural world! None at all!

**Author's Note:**

> Gideon is, above all else, a gentleman. Even if he has to do some questionable things to get what he wants.


End file.
